story of a girl

I am missing a lot of things these days. I had this urge to pause and look at the things around me and I noticed they weren’t what I used to see, have before. Things are more complicated now, relationships are becoming heavier than ever, the shouts of pressure to be good at what you do are one more decibel louder and the battles we have to face now do not consist of simple high school girls’ tantrums.

I miss being that naive school girl who practically gets all she wants (well for one, because the wants of a little girl are far different from what adults ask for), those days wherein my biggest responsibility was only to make sure that I graduate on time and of course, without getting knocked up.

I had the chance to catch-up with some of my high school friends over the weekend. A visit to my 24-year old kabarkada who gave birth to her second child highlighted even more the melancholic mood that I’ve been having. I mean, she talks about diapers now, and feeding techniques, and sleeping habits of kids. I guess I just miss her old jolly self who’s always on the forefront of making practical jokes to the expense of our unlucky batch mates. Another friend is soon moving to Dubai to work even though her job here has been good (she even got promoted a month before her resignation). The thoughts of a new environment, a tax-free salary and a different experience made the decision for her. How odd can that be, that while all those things lured her – I’m here writing about missing the good old days.

Everybody’s moving on from their jobs, past relationships, past lives but that is not to say that I’m stuck somewhere I do want to be in because I’ve done that too. I’ve also moved on from a lot of things and I am fine where it has taken me but there are times like this that I so wish I could go back, somewhere where complications are defined only by pressures from your girlfriends to not talk to the girls from the other group, or to make sure that you wear pink on a given day.

I miss my friends from high school and college. I miss fooling around with them. I miss skipping classes for early trips to the movie house or just plain hanging out in our favorite spots. I miss our late night phone calls talking about anything but our assignments. I miss passing notes during class. I miss going to school and enjoying it big time.

…and to cap this whole nostalgic drama of mine: I miss my computer’s old settings, I guess our local IT is with some force of nature in a conspiracy to make me feel like crapL.

Kidding aside, I’m losing my element for having this mood for days now and I wish to get back on track because there’s a lot of work to do and living in the past would not help me one bit.